Help family and friends avoid romance scams

At 67 years old, Grace, a widow, stayed connected with her family and friends interstate through Facebook. She found she could join groups and play games via the social media platform.  One day during a game of Words with Friends, her opponent sent her a message asking how her day was. This interaction was the start of what Grace thought was an exciting new romance.

“It started very innocently,” Grace advised from her New South Wales home. “On the first day, we just chatted and said ‘hi, how was your day’ and arranged a time to play again the next day. Over the next few games, he told me his name was Malcolm James, he was in the US military and was based in Iraq. He also said he felt lonely and was looking for some company”.

Over the next 18 months, the person claiming to be Malcolm James drew Grace into what she thought was a loving relationship. It was in fact a scam leading to a series of escalating requests for money. This resulted in Grace’s life falling apart; she lost her entire life savings and went into significant debt.

Grace explains, “In those first few weeks he was so lovely, he really cared about me, and we had a genuine connection. We would speak every day. He sent me poems; we shared pictures, and he told me I was his ‘angel sent from heaven’. I just fell completely in love with him, and we were soon discussing how we would build a life together once he was out of the army. He said he was happy to move to Australia as he was a trained accountant, so he would easily get a job here.”

Grace continues, “When he first requested money, we were looking to book flights to Australia so he could visit me. He said his accounts and credit cards had been shut down due to a computer issue, so he needed me to send a wire transfer to Nigeria where he had been transferred. He was meant to be getting a big payout from the army due to an injury, so I knew he was good for it. I just wanted to do anything I could to get him here. It never occurred to me that this could be a scam. We were in love, so it all made sense at the time."

One request for money turned into more than 10, as Malcolm encountered issue after issue trying to get to Australia. These included medical emergencies affecting him and his family, and legal battles.

Eighteen months into the relationship, Grace had sent a total of $374,000 to Malcolm and taken out a $35,000 loan against her house. The truth was finally revealed when Malcolm mistakenly sent Grace an email intended for someone else called Sandra. The email contained almost six months’ worth of the exact same messages that Grace had received, from the same email address and name.

Grace shares, “I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it! When I questioned him on it, he sent me a message saying, “Looks like the game is up!”. I am heartbroken, in debt and have no savings left. This scam has ruined my life, I just want to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else.”